A CHILD'S-EYE VIEW

With my mind still on the book Heaven is For Real, I keep thinking about a strong message that came through to me regarding how much Jesus loves and protects children. I consider myself a child of God, and would have normally interpreted that as applying to me and all believers...but this message was more than that. It was about a "quality" of belief; a "child-like" acceptance from a population that doesn't know how to doubt, or worry, or grieve.

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14 (NIV)

Heaven is for Real

I just finished reading Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo, about his four-year old son Colton's amazing reports of having been to Heaven during a life threatening surgery. As a child-loss mom, I found so many important reassurances in those pages. I have always been certain of Brittney's salvation, but during her nearly 18 years of life, we rarely spent more than a few days apart...never more than a week. Being away from her this past year has been extremely difficult. Reading this book gave me sort of a feeling of getting a "letter from camp" about what a wonderful time she is having. This is a must read!

SKYPE

If I could Skype to Heaven,
I’d do it every day.
We’d talk about the weather,
You’d see that I’m OK.
We’d laugh about old memories;
Relive those times we had.
We’d know that God had purpose
In times that seemed so bad.
We’d talk for long, long hours,
Not wanting it to end,
We’d make plans for tomorrow
When we’d Skype together again.
Technology's amazing,
But Heaven beyond its scope,
May our bond forever strengthen,
Through blind faith, and love, and hope!
                              ~Traci Eccles

PEACE

Peace - free slideshow
Still putting together the "pieces"...
On the night of Brittney's death, her dad was 2,400 miles away in Washington state. Everything had happened so quickly, I didn't even call him until after she had passed. The shock and devastation he felt when I made that gut-wrenching call is indescribable.
Earlier that night (about the time of the accident), Ryan had run across an old laptop that we hadn't used for years. Out of curiosity, he booted it up to see whether it still worked. As it came to life, a file opened and pictures started popping up on the screen. This had never happened before and he found it odd, even without the knowledge that something catastophic was happening in Corpus Christi, Texas that would change our lives forever. The pictures on the screen were of Brittney and her friends, many of which featured Britt with a big smile displaying a peace sign.
In thinking about that incident later, Ryan and I were both convinced that it was Brittney's way to say goodbye to her dad, and to let him know she was at peace. Over the past year, I have continued to run across pictures of Brittney with that familiar peace sign. Strangely, I hadn't noticed what a constant theme this was for her. I can't help but feel there is much more to this sign than I realize. One thing that I know is that my angel, Brittney, IS at peace with the Lord!

The Christmas Maze

This morning I tried to re-ignite some of the old feelings I had as a child at Christmas time, but as hard as I tried (mostly just to see if I could), it didn't work. I can easily recall the memories...I just can't reach the feelings. It is such an odd phenomenon...as if the switch that connected anything positive to the holidays has been turned off.
So I resign myself to "what it is...." This year, and the years to come, I will enter the maze as the holidays near. I will expect a feeling of progress only to be met with constant dead ends, waves of isolation and frustration, and the knowledge that regular back-tracking will just be part of getting through the season. Eventually, the end of the maze will appear and I will be able to move forward through another year.

Matthew 5:4Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted

Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving

Recently, in one of our many debates over the topic of tithing, my husband said to me, "Haven't I already given enough? I gave Him my daughter." At first I was shocked and upset because that is not the way I feel. But then I realized that I can't dishonor this statement, because it is the way that he feels. The truth of the matter is that, at times, the idea of "giving thanks" for anything after the death of a child can be difficult.

Today, on the second Thanksgiving we are spending away from our daughter, I give thanks t0 God for Emily Elizabeth Anne Eccles born on October 27th, just 12 days short of the one year anniversary of Brittney's journey home. May Brittney watch over her baby cousin just as she would if she were still here with us.

"Life is not about the breaths you take, it is about the moments that take your breath away" Author unknown