The Christmas Maze

This morning I tried to re-ignite some of the old feelings I had as a child at Christmas time, but as hard as I tried (mostly just to see if I could), it didn't work. I can easily recall the memories...I just can't reach the feelings. It is such an odd phenomenon...as if the switch that connected anything positive to the holidays has been turned off.
So I resign myself to "what it is...." This year, and the years to come, I will enter the maze as the holidays near. I will expect a feeling of progress only to be met with constant dead ends, waves of isolation and frustration, and the knowledge that regular back-tracking will just be part of getting through the season. Eventually, the end of the maze will appear and I will be able to move forward through another year.