Life is a journey...everyone can expect ups and downs, triumphs and trials. For me, it was the utterly unexpected...the unimagineable that shocked me into really taking a hard look at my own journey. The year prior to Brittney's death, she and I had faced some extreme challenges in our lives, both together and individually. Miraculously, everything that had been broken was on the mend at the time of her passing...and that wasn't an accident, it was truly devine intervention.
Over the past 18 months, I have definitely suffered the kind of grief that only those who have lost a child can really wrap their heads around, but at the same time, I have been given so many gifts from God that it overwhelms me just to think about it. At critical moments, I have experienced the kind of peace and inner joy that I didn't even know existed. I have not felt a second of loneliness since Brittney's death. At first I thought that was because God allowed Brittney's spirit to stay right next to me, to help me with the pain. Now I realize that it was God Himself who has remained so close to me all this time. I was also able to relocate over 2500 miles, put my daughter to rest, re-strengthen my strained marriage with the love of my life (Brittney's dad), find a wonderful new place to live, get a job that I love, and find a church that I would be lost without....all this within the first six months after this devastating loss. I know without a doubt that was orchestrated by God, not me!
God has picked me up and guided me in the right direction. He has led me to people and places that are clearly integral pieces to finishing this beautiful puzzle. He reminds me on a daily basis that my journey is not over, and that as difficult as it may seem at times, I need to finish the race...and He will be right by my side when I do.
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I love reading your posts... your experiences, attitude and way of expressing your words are so uplifting.
ReplyDeleteGod never lets what we go through go to waste if we trust Him and are open to His leading; and you are. I KNOW, without a doubt, that He is using this blog AND your experiences to minister to others who have gone through your same pain. He has so much in store for you to help others in the process of grieving a loved one. I am at awe in how the Lord is working through you!
Blessings to you, Traci, as you are a blessing to God and others~