No Grief Hangover~

Approaching Mother's Day can feel something like tip-toeing through an obstacle course with land mines scattered strategically throughout.  You can hit it running in the hopes of "beating the odds" with a swift pace; or you can tread slowly and carefully, analyzing every step of the way in an attempt at prolonging your safety in the event of the dreaded misstep, followed by the inevitable explosion of emotion.  This year, I made it! I finally accept that the absence of my own child from my side does not remove my "Mother-ness." God gave me a beautiful and amazing child for a short time.  When he took her home, what remained within me was a lifetime of a mother's unlimited capacity to love.  Brittney's amazing circle of friends will faithfully remind me what she, and in turn I, brought to their lives.  It is an amazing truth that they never allow me to forget on Mother's Day, or any other day.  It brings such a sense of peace to wake up mornings after significant events of remembrance WITHOUT that grief hangover that followed me around like a lost puppy just two short years ago. I am thankfully in awe of how blessed my life has become through such a senseless tragedy.

GRIEF LIMBO

After two years and one month of pouring my tears and triumphs into blog posts, I stopped.  Just like that; no conscious decision, no thoughtful conclusion that it was time, no real awareness that it had happened at all.  How odd to think that nearly a year and a half passed and it did not occur to me to return to the coping mechanism that I credit as a major source of  healing.  Could it have been that I had completed the process...the grieving was over and I was moving on?  NO...for each of us who drew this most dreaded card in life, the grieving is never finished, the pain never gone. As I round the corner to the second half of year four, I feel compelled to share my experiences through blogging with a stage of the journey that I have decided to call GRIEF LIMBO. 

R.I.P.B.R.J.